I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
