also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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