I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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