butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
