you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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