I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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