Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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