Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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