fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I need moral support for this bender
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So vagazzling was a success
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
