i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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