i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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