i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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