I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Randomize
