I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
