He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i think my cat just said my name.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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