not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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