i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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