All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i think i just lost a toe
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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