he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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