Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
