dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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