she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she looked like the before picture.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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