like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
