moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
