my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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