i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
