I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
