I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
