He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I won the penis lottery.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He felt like a one man threesome
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
