You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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