every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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