Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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