Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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