I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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