? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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