Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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