Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
