Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
