Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
