Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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