from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Randomize
