The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
