Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All the doctor said was why
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize