I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
