I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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