College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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