there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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