census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
