i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
