oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
