I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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