How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
