Will you blow on my dice?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
