Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
