I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
