Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
