i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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