So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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