Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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(914): View more from New York

after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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(636): View more from Missouri

You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!

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